I felt I wanted to get down on paper all the Lord had done for me these past few weeks. 1982 has been a very hard year financially for us and as I entered 1983 I had a great Hope that 1983 was going to be different. I just knew it was going to be a turning point.

In the middle of the night, upon Pollyann’s first day back at PLU we received a call from her saying that she had severe stomach pains. She ended up being taken by the paramedics to Good Samaritan Hospital where they couldn’t find out what was wrong but drugged her until the pain subsided. Dick picked her up at 4:00am and she slept until 5:30pm on Tuesday afternoon. She seemed better and we planned on taking her back to school Wednesday evening, when the pain returned. She spent 3 hours that evening at Tacoma General Emergency room in extreme pain and then spent the night when they couldn’t find out what was wrong and came home at 3 the next afternoon. (In addition, Pollyann was no longer under our insurance as of November 19. She was now 19 and at this time was uninsured.) She came home Thursday and seemed better but the pain returned Friday evening and we took her to Allenmore Emergency for shots for pain. On Monday morning she had Upper GI x-rays but still nothing could be found. All the doctor could tell us was that it was probably stress related.

During that week I became very depressed and felt that I had been forsaken by God. I felt I was lying face down in a pit and just decided to stay there until the Lord decided to pick me up. It was just too painful to feel hope and then be knocked down again.

Dick was in a very similar state and we did not feel like going to Sunday School and leading the class on the Sunday following that horrible week. I did feel strong though, that we couldn’t just go into the lesson without sharing our feelings and what had happened that week. I did just that and then at the of the class John Weber said he felt the class should pray for us and for Pollyann.  And he did pray for us, as did Wes Anderson and Bob Brooke. And healing began to come to me as those dear men prayer so beautifully and so powerfully. As we left class several people gave us scripture and that, along with some Jane had given me during the week, began to speak to my heart. I saw the situation from a different perspective.

These were the verses that were so helpful to me:

• II Corinthians 4:8 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed- always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”
• Matthew 7:25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”
• Romans 8:24-25 “Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with with patience.”
• Psalms 39:7 “And now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in the thee.”

And also these verses: Romans 12:12, Psalms 131, Psalms 103:1-5, Psalms 39:7, Proverbs 10:28, Psalms 3:3, Psalms 28:7, Psalms 84:11a, Psalms 119:114

As I began to really HEAR what these verses were saying, this is what the Lord showed me… I was putting my hope in the wrong things, and hoping in “a job”. Or hoping in 1983 when I should be hoping “in God” and “In the Word” and “In the Unseen”.

Then as I read II Corinthians 4:8 I realized that this hadn’t really been a life verse with me and I recalled Juan Carlos Ortiz words as he said he could tell what kind of Christian you were by what you had underlined in your Bible. I took offense at this because I probably had every happy verse underlined in mine. Perhaps I just hadn’t needed a verse like II Corinthians 4:8 before, but now I did and was blessed by it, as well as Psalms 103:4.

As I read Psalms 131 and Matthew 7:25 together a beautiful picture came into my mind. I was no longer in the bottom of a dark pit. But I was inside a cozy house, our living room on Fox Island with a big fire going and the rain beating outside and the wind howling and the waves were wild, but I was quiet, secure, warm, and peaceful because I was resting in the arms of God. He was my shield and protector from the storm about me.

As I sat in my protected place looking down at where I had come from, I was feeling ashamed and guilty for having been there and for feeling that God had forsaken me. In this moment, the Lord very gently spoke to my heart saying “Both Jesus and David cried out, ‘Why have you forsaken me’, and I can forgive you for this also.”

Theses two verses have new meaning to me too. Rather than saying when the storms come, “Oh, why has this happened to me!”, I shall claim I Peter 4:12,13 and James 1:2-4.

During that week our hearts were lifted in so many ways as so many were praying for us. Through gifts of many that week, all the hospital bills were taken care of. That was very hard to receive, but we are so thankful and we take it as from the Lord. I have never felt such a distinct separation between my Spirit, Soul, and Body as I did during this healing time. It was interesting to me to see each part touched and healing separately and then to see how uniquely each part affected the whole.

We just want to thank our Sunday School Class and our family for being so supportive and for praying for us during these past two weeks.

(Editors Note: The post titled “Inner Beauty” was posted before it was completed. I will blame pregnancy brain and I hope you enjoy the rest of Rosemary’s thoughts on Inner Beauty)

“The Beautiful woman whose life shows the fruit of the Spirit, exhibits some other practical qualities as well. They are the qualities that make her personality real and down to earth.

1. She has a fragrance of humor: She might now have been born with a great sense of humor, but she trains her mind to look at her life’s happenings in good humor.
2. She has the fragrance of friendship: “A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick”. (Proverbs 17:22) The friendly woman greats you with a warm smile whether she knows you or not. She recognizes the tremendous therapeutic value of a smile to her husband and to her children.
3. She has the fragrance of organization: She does not have this fanatic thing about cleanliness and being neat and tidy always. She does not drive anyone up a wall over a speck of dirt, but she is neat. Her house, according to the present rate of speed of their family, has a semblance of order. She is sure God does not want her to live in an unorganized mess of a house.
4. She has the fragrance of hospitality: She opens her home to others even when her couch is rather threadbare, the walls need paint, and she doesn’t have enough dishes or chairs. She shares her dinner table, without apologies, and can be gracious even if its only “hamburger night”. If you drop in on her unexpectedly, you take her (and her house) as is, and instantly she puts you at ease.
5. She has the fragrance of wonder: Nothing is too small or insignificant to catch her attention. She is interested in everything. She teaches her children the sense of wonder by pointing out the little brown bug on the ground, the sleeping kitty and the orange sunset. She smiles and talks with her eyes, her face lights up over the wonder of little things. She is a joy to see.
6. She has the fragrance of honesty: She does not lie- even about little things. If she is busy and does not want to answer her phone, she does not say to her children “Tell them Mommie is not home.” She says “Tell them Mommie is busy and will call them back later”. She teaches them honesty in the best of ways- by example.
7. She has the fragrance of learning: She is not afraid to develop new skills. She tries to do something creative at least once a day- even if its only adding a dash of paprika and parsley to her mashed potatoes. She reads a wide range of books. She takes instruction from a Bible study course to a needlepoint classes. She I enthusiastically dedicated to increasing her learning powers and her willingness to tackle new projects is gorgeous.
8. She has the fragrance of balanced priorities: The beautiful woman is one who has asked God about the goals and priorities of her life, and He has opened several new doors. First, she found she is a person- a woman- she is somebody.
9. She has the fragrance of appreciation: She knows that in life the essence of appreciation is like butter on the toast: it makes it go down much easier. The has sincere thankfulness running through her veins. Just think… HE MADE US! The woman who understands the truth of who she is and why she’s loved is completely surrounded by fragrance. It is an unmistakable fragrance, swirling around her in a fine, penetrating mist. It is the real, the God-given fragrance of beauty!  This is what every Christ-centered women can and should be.

How to be a Beautiful Woman

(based on a tape by Rev. Jerry Cook)

“Beauty may be only skin deep but ugly is clear through.”

We as people and as a country externalize beauty. We are so caught up in outward appearance. That is not to say it isn’t important. But…. The bible does not say that we should run around looking like a bunch of uglies. And it does not say that Holiness is next to Ugliness, or Plainness is a virtue. But the bible does recognize the true source of beauty, being something much greater than an external adjustment.

These are some thoughts from 1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behaviors of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very previous. So once the holy women who hoping in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husband, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.”

1. A beautiful women knows how to be subject to her own husband and how to keep her mouth shut. She also is not subject to any one else’s husband and not in subjection to all men in general.
2. A beautiful woman has a pure life style. “When they see your reverent and chaste behavior.” She has the kind of life that is transparent- you can look solidly at it and it doesn’t blink. A life that you can surprise and it is not embarrassed. Purity in life is just a consistently wholesome life.
3. A beautiful women is one whose adorning is not just hair decorations (not that this is wrong). But the real issue is the hidden person of the heart with meek and quiet spirit. Meekness in a feminine sense means consideration. We notice people who are considerate, who sense a persons need and moves toward it. A person with a restful spirit. One with whom you are able to relax. A quality of beauty that ministers rest. Some homes are that way and others so full of tension you can cut it with a knife.

If you do not have the inner qualities we have talked about, no matter how you remake your face, or how much weight you lose, or how expensive your clothes are, or how proper you walk, you are not beautiful. Even if you don’t have the external, but have the internal there will be a beauty about you that cant be missed. That only comes from Jesus Christ.

We all can be beautiful women with Inner Beauty, if we allow ourselves to be all God would have us be, with His help, and the Holy Spirit within us.

Psalms 34:5a “Look to Him and be radiant”.

Psalms 90:17 “Let the beauty of the Lord be upon us.”

Proverbs 11:22 “Like a ring in a swine’s snout is a beautiful women without discretion.”

Ecc. 3:11a “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Proverbs 31: 25 “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.”

The following are some thoughts from the book “Fragrance of Beauty” by Joyce Landorf:

Dear God,

Here I am, problems and all, Forgive me. Forgive my sins. I’m worn out, broken, and I cant be patched up. I need a new life. Please come into my soul and touch me with Your healing hands. I want to exchange-

my hates for your loves.

my anger for your forgiveness.

my insecurities for your high evaluations.

my worry for your words in prayer.

my fear for a measure of your fade-less faith.

my bitterness for your thanksgiving.

Now thank You, Lord, for doing all this, even before I see change or results. Amen.

“The woman who prays this and accepts God’s forgiveness has connected her spirit with God’s. She has entered into a joint enterprise with the God who made her.”

“Her personality begins to show some special traits and spiritual qualities”

The inner beauteous glow begins

1. She has a sense of spiritual things. She does not merely quote Bible truths, she transforms them into solid realities.

2. She has a sense of indescribable sweetness about her. This is not a saccharine, phony sweetness but a genuine one. When you talk with her, you feel the presence of the altogether lovely One, and you know He is dear to her.

3. She has a sense of victory over temptations. She very definitely admits to having temptations- big and small, but she has made up her mind to be habitually triumphant over them.

4. She has sacred sense of concern for others. Because of the nearness and presence of Jesus in her life, her develops the God-given urge to share Him with others.

5. She shows a great sense of spiritual power. She does not fear people- individually or in groups. She knows the Holy spirits power is at work within her.

Oh, I see! You’re a sinner- a real bad sinner! Well, Scripture says, “While we were yet sinners Christ died for us” in Romans 5:8. But can God use a person who is short of perfect? One who loses their temper? Who gets depressed? Yes! And you’re in good company!

David’s armor didn’t fit

John Mark was rejected by Paul

Moses stuttered

Hosea’s wife was a prostitute

Amos’ only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning

Jacob was a liar

David had an affair

Solomon was too rich

Abraham was too old

David was too young

Timothy had ulcers

Peter was afraid of death

Lazarus was dead

John was self-righteous

Naomi was a widow

Paul was a murderer

So was Moses

Miriam was a gossip

Gideon and Thomas both doubted

Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal

Martha was a worrywart

Mary was lazy

Samson had long hair

Noah got drunk

Moses had a short fuse

So did Peter and Paul and…

You?

Satan says, “You are not worthy”. Jesus says, “So, what? I am!” Satan looks back and sees our mistakes. God looks back and sees the Cross. Yes, there are lots of reasons why God shouldn’t want us, but if we love Him, He’ll use us in spite of who we are, where we’ve been, or what we look like.

God wants to use each one of us, if we’ll let Him!