I felt I wanted to get down on paper all the Lord had done for me these past few weeks. 1982 has been a very hard year financially for us and as I entered 1983 I had a great Hope that 1983 was going to be different. I just knew it was going to be a turning point.

In the middle of the night, upon Pollyann’s first day back at PLU we received a call from her saying that she had severe stomach pains. She ended up being taken by the paramedics to Good Samaritan Hospital where they couldn’t find out what was wrong but drugged her until the pain subsided. Dick picked her up at 4:00am and she slept until 5:30pm on Tuesday afternoon. She seemed better and we planned on taking her back to school Wednesday evening, when the pain returned. She spent 3 hours that evening at Tacoma General Emergency room in extreme pain and then spent the night when they couldn’t find out what was wrong and came home at 3 the next afternoon. (In addition, Pollyann was no longer under our insurance as of November 19. She was now 19 and at this time was uninsured.) She came home Thursday and seemed better but the pain returned Friday evening and we took her to Allenmore Emergency for shots for pain. On Monday morning she had Upper GI x-rays but still nothing could be found. All the doctor could tell us was that it was probably stress related.

During that week I became very depressed and felt that I had been forsaken by God. I felt I was lying face down in a pit and just decided to stay there until the Lord decided to pick me up. It was just too painful to feel hope and then be knocked down again.

Dick was in a very similar state and we did not feel like going to Sunday School and leading the class on the Sunday following that horrible week. I did feel strong though, that we couldn’t just go into the lesson without sharing our feelings and what had happened that week. I did just that and then at the of the class John Weber said he felt the class should pray for us and for Pollyann.  And he did pray for us, as did Wes Anderson and Bob Brooke. And healing began to come to me as those dear men prayer so beautifully and so powerfully. As we left class several people gave us scripture and that, along with some Jane had given me during the week, began to speak to my heart. I saw the situation from a different perspective.

These were the verses that were so helpful to me:

• II Corinthians 4:8 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed- always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”
• Matthew 7:25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”
• Romans 8:24-25 “Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with with patience.”
• Psalms 39:7 “And now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in the thee.”

And also these verses: Romans 12:12, Psalms 131, Psalms 103:1-5, Psalms 39:7, Proverbs 10:28, Psalms 3:3, Psalms 28:7, Psalms 84:11a, Psalms 119:114

As I began to really HEAR what these verses were saying, this is what the Lord showed me… I was putting my hope in the wrong things, and hoping in “a job”. Or hoping in 1983 when I should be hoping “in God” and “In the Word” and “In the Unseen”.

Then as I read II Corinthians 4:8 I realized that this hadn’t really been a life verse with me and I recalled Juan Carlos Ortiz words as he said he could tell what kind of Christian you were by what you had underlined in your Bible. I took offense at this because I probably had every happy verse underlined in mine. Perhaps I just hadn’t needed a verse like II Corinthians 4:8 before, but now I did and was blessed by it, as well as Psalms 103:4.

As I read Psalms 131 and Matthew 7:25 together a beautiful picture came into my mind. I was no longer in the bottom of a dark pit. But I was inside a cozy house, our living room on Fox Island with a big fire going and the rain beating outside and the wind howling and the waves were wild, but I was quiet, secure, warm, and peaceful because I was resting in the arms of God. He was my shield and protector from the storm about me.

As I sat in my protected place looking down at where I had come from, I was feeling ashamed and guilty for having been there and for feeling that God had forsaken me. In this moment, the Lord very gently spoke to my heart saying “Both Jesus and David cried out, ‘Why have you forsaken me’, and I can forgive you for this also.”

Theses two verses have new meaning to me too. Rather than saying when the storms come, “Oh, why has this happened to me!”, I shall claim I Peter 4:12,13 and James 1:2-4.

During that week our hearts were lifted in so many ways as so many were praying for us. Through gifts of many that week, all the hospital bills were taken care of. That was very hard to receive, but we are so thankful and we take it as from the Lord. I have never felt such a distinct separation between my Spirit, Soul, and Body as I did during this healing time. It was interesting to me to see each part touched and healing separately and then to see how uniquely each part affected the whole.

We just want to thank our Sunday School Class and our family for being so supportive and for praying for us during these past two weeks.

(Editors Note: The post titled “Inner Beauty” was posted before it was completed. I will blame pregnancy brain and I hope you enjoy the rest of Rosemary’s thoughts on Inner Beauty)

“The Beautiful woman whose life shows the fruit of the Spirit, exhibits some other practical qualities as well. They are the qualities that make her personality real and down to earth.

1. She has a fragrance of humor: She might now have been born with a great sense of humor, but she trains her mind to look at her life’s happenings in good humor.
2. She has the fragrance of friendship: “A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick”. (Proverbs 17:22) The friendly woman greats you with a warm smile whether she knows you or not. She recognizes the tremendous therapeutic value of a smile to her husband and to her children.
3. She has the fragrance of organization: She does not have this fanatic thing about cleanliness and being neat and tidy always. She does not drive anyone up a wall over a speck of dirt, but she is neat. Her house, according to the present rate of speed of their family, has a semblance of order. She is sure God does not want her to live in an unorganized mess of a house.
4. She has the fragrance of hospitality: She opens her home to others even when her couch is rather threadbare, the walls need paint, and she doesn’t have enough dishes or chairs. She shares her dinner table, without apologies, and can be gracious even if its only “hamburger night”. If you drop in on her unexpectedly, you take her (and her house) as is, and instantly she puts you at ease.
5. She has the fragrance of wonder: Nothing is too small or insignificant to catch her attention. She is interested in everything. She teaches her children the sense of wonder by pointing out the little brown bug on the ground, the sleeping kitty and the orange sunset. She smiles and talks with her eyes, her face lights up over the wonder of little things. She is a joy to see.
6. She has the fragrance of honesty: She does not lie- even about little things. If she is busy and does not want to answer her phone, she does not say to her children “Tell them Mommie is not home.” She says “Tell them Mommie is busy and will call them back later”. She teaches them honesty in the best of ways- by example.
7. She has the fragrance of learning: She is not afraid to develop new skills. She tries to do something creative at least once a day- even if its only adding a dash of paprika and parsley to her mashed potatoes. She reads a wide range of books. She takes instruction from a Bible study course to a needlepoint classes. She I enthusiastically dedicated to increasing her learning powers and her willingness to tackle new projects is gorgeous.
8. She has the fragrance of balanced priorities: The beautiful woman is one who has asked God about the goals and priorities of her life, and He has opened several new doors. First, she found she is a person- a woman- she is somebody.
9. She has the fragrance of appreciation: She knows that in life the essence of appreciation is like butter on the toast: it makes it go down much easier. The has sincere thankfulness running through her veins. Just think… HE MADE US! The woman who understands the truth of who she is and why she’s loved is completely surrounded by fragrance. It is an unmistakable fragrance, swirling around her in a fine, penetrating mist. It is the real, the God-given fragrance of beauty!  This is what every Christ-centered women can and should be.

How to be a Beautiful Woman

(based on a tape by Rev. Jerry Cook)

“Beauty may be only skin deep but ugly is clear through.”

We as people and as a country externalize beauty. We are so caught up in outward appearance. That is not to say it isn’t important. But…. The bible does not say that we should run around looking like a bunch of uglies. And it does not say that Holiness is next to Ugliness, or Plainness is a virtue. But the bible does recognize the true source of beauty, being something much greater than an external adjustment.

These are some thoughts from 1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behaviors of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very previous. So once the holy women who hoping in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husband, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.”

1. A beautiful women knows how to be subject to her own husband and how to keep her mouth shut. She also is not subject to any one else’s husband and not in subjection to all men in general.
2. A beautiful woman has a pure life style. “When they see your reverent and chaste behavior.” She has the kind of life that is transparent- you can look solidly at it and it doesn’t blink. A life that you can surprise and it is not embarrassed. Purity in life is just a consistently wholesome life.
3. A beautiful women is one whose adorning is not just hair decorations (not that this is wrong). But the real issue is the hidden person of the heart with meek and quiet spirit. Meekness in a feminine sense means consideration. We notice people who are considerate, who sense a persons need and moves toward it. A person with a restful spirit. One with whom you are able to relax. A quality of beauty that ministers rest. Some homes are that way and others so full of tension you can cut it with a knife.

If you do not have the inner qualities we have talked about, no matter how you remake your face, or how much weight you lose, or how expensive your clothes are, or how proper you walk, you are not beautiful. Even if you don’t have the external, but have the internal there will be a beauty about you that cant be missed. That only comes from Jesus Christ.

We all can be beautiful women with Inner Beauty, if we allow ourselves to be all God would have us be, with His help, and the Holy Spirit within us.

I am going to share with you some thoughts from a paper I got from Dave Wilkerson and the title was as above. My whole life I had heard the expression, “being at my wit’s end” but I didn’t know it was scriptural until I read this paper. I love it when we keep finding things new in scripture that we didn’t know were there.

I can remember my mother saying that a lot and I am sure I was the one who drove her there a great deal of the time.

This is the reference: Psalms 107:23-27

“Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters; they saw the deeds of the Lord, his wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded, and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven, they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their evil plight; they reeled and staggered like drunken men, and were at their wit’s end.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble and he delivered them from their distress; he made the storm be still and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they had quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.”

The verses tell of sailors on a ship being tossed by the storm. Powerful winds and waves so they were like drunken sailors being tossed into the heavens and down to the depths. Can’t you just picture it. Frightening. It says they have come to a place called “wit’s end”. I think the following thoughts of Dave Wilkerson are very good and applicable to our lives.

“These sailors have come to a place called “Wit’s End”. It is a condition that afflicts all Christians at one time or another. This phrase means simply, ‘having lost or exhausted any possibility of perceiving or thinking of a way out.’ In short, it is the end of all human ability and resourses. There is no escape – no help, no deliverance, other than in God himself.”

“Like the sailors aboard the ship, you have simply been going about your business, moving on in your walk with Jesus. Then one day, out of nowhere, a storm hit – and waves of trouble came crashing down on you from all sides! Like the sailors in Psalms 107, your ‘…soul is melted because of trouble’.

“I must note: God himself has initiated the storm! ‘…for he commanded, and raised the stormy wind…’ vs. 25. 1Peter 4:12-13 also says, ‘Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.’”

“First the sailors came to their wit’s end, giving up on all human hope or help. Second, they cried to the Lord in the midst of their trouble, turning to Him alone for help!”

I think this is a good thought. “God keeps bringing us to Wit’s End until we learn to trust Him completely – no matter how hopeless we appear.”

“We see this happen time after time with the children of Isreal in the wilderness. Again and again God brought them to wit’s end – to test them, to see of they would trust Him. But each time they refused!”

“Wit’s End is a place of suffering, pain and insecurity.”

“Our loving heavenly Father would never lead his children into a dry desert only to let them die of thirst – especially when He has a reservoir stored in a nearby rock! God had always had a plan for His people. And He has a plan for you right now, to deliver you from your present trouble. There is no problem you have that He can’t unravel!”

“When you are at Wit’s End, one of two things will happen to you. You will either emerge trusting in man, or trusting fully in God – that is either cursed or blessed. Which way will you respond in your time of trouble?”

“Jeremiah writes, Chap 17:5-8 ‘This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord. That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

To me (Rosemary) this is summed up also in Habakkuk 3: 17-19. That tells us in the midst of our life falling apart we will STILL rejoice in the Lord. “Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.”

Wilkerson ends with these words. May it be true for us. “God help us surrender our wills, our personal agendas, when we come to this place called wit’s end. May it become a place of renewed faith and trust in our loving Father. Amen!”

[Editor’s note: The photo below is a photo copy of Gr.Rosy’s Utmost for His Highest devotional (one of her favorites), the entries for Aug 11th & 12th both contained references to “Wit’s End” and were included in the folder with this teaching.  Grandma wrote a personal note below in her devotional, “95 – Mother at Cottesmore”.]

Psalms 34:5a “Look to Him and be radiant”.

Psalms 90:17 “Let the beauty of the Lord be upon us.”

Proverbs 11:22 “Like a ring in a swine’s snout is a beautiful women without discretion.”

Ecc. 3:11a “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Proverbs 31: 25 “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.”

The following are some thoughts from the book “Fragrance of Beauty” by Joyce Landorf:

Dear God,

Here I am, problems and all, Forgive me. Forgive my sins. I’m worn out, broken, and I cant be patched up. I need a new life. Please come into my soul and touch me with Your healing hands. I want to exchange-

my hates for your loves.

my anger for your forgiveness.

my insecurities for your high evaluations.

my worry for your words in prayer.

my fear for a measure of your fade-less faith.

my bitterness for your thanksgiving.

Now thank You, Lord, for doing all this, even before I see change or results. Amen.

“The woman who prays this and accepts God’s forgiveness has connected her spirit with God’s. She has entered into a joint enterprise with the God who made her.”

“Her personality begins to show some special traits and spiritual qualities”

The inner beauteous glow begins

1. She has a sense of spiritual things. She does not merely quote Bible truths, she transforms them into solid realities.

2. She has a sense of indescribable sweetness about her. This is not a saccharine, phony sweetness but a genuine one. When you talk with her, you feel the presence of the altogether lovely One, and you know He is dear to her.

3. She has a sense of victory over temptations. She very definitely admits to having temptations- big and small, but she has made up her mind to be habitually triumphant over them.

4. She has sacred sense of concern for others. Because of the nearness and presence of Jesus in her life, her develops the God-given urge to share Him with others.

5. She shows a great sense of spiritual power. She does not fear people- individually or in groups. She knows the Holy spirits power is at work within her.